The Best Chef in the Whole world

The Best Chef in the Whole World  -Part 1



Raja had just retired in 1988.He had finally got over the post retirement blues. He kept himself busy by writing stories which nobody read. This did not bother him at all. He finally managed to get accepted for a post graduate course in history. He was busy reading and attending lectures and this kept him busy.
Fate has a habit of reminding people that it cannot be taken for granted by making unexpected things happen-both pleasant and unpleasant. The events were set off half way across the world in Greenville, North Carolina. Kamini, Raja’s daughter was having a baby in September. Raja and Vasanta were invited to have the delight of baby sitting. Vasanta was delighted and started making preparations. Raja was not exactly pleased at having his peace disturbed. He knew what was in store, disposing diapers, carrying the baby and sleepless nights. He had gone through this already twice and that was enough for a life time.
Raja- ‘Darling .I will be a burden. I will stay back. I will be missing a lot of classes and will not be ready for the exams.’
Vasanta - ‘You and your exams. Don’t you want to hold your grandchild in your hands? You are coming. That is that.’
Raja was a stubborn chap whose back was easily put up. In this case he was genuinely into his studies. He did not like to be taken for granted.
In desperation Vasanta had a talk with Kamini. In turn Kamini had a strategic session with her husband and her brother. They came to the conclusion that it was unwise to leave the old man alone. The studies were an excuse.
A few days later on Kamini rang her father.
Kamini - ‘Hello Appa. What is all this you not wanting to kiss your grandchild? I know how keen you are with your History course. There is a good university here which has a good history department. They have an excellent one semester course on American History which is part of your programme in Madras. You will not miss anything by coming here. You will even do better than your Q and A lectures in Madras.’
That settled it. Come September we were in Greenville. Greenville was a small typical American town in the middle of nowhere. What gave Greenville a bit of life was the Greenville campus of the University of North Carolina. I settled down to nice routine with a long walk in the morning followed by a hefty breakfast, watching the TV shows and drinking wine with Vijay in the evenings. The minor problem was that my granddaughter decided that I was the ugly sister in the Cinderella story come to life. I used to get locked out of the house quite often till Vijay on his way back from office picked me up from the Church steps near the house. Laziness set in and I said to myself ‘Dash it. What does it matter if I take an extra year to finish to finish my History graduate studies?’
Kamini was told by the gynecologist that the child was due in 10 days. There was a big conference to which I was not privy. The next day morning I had the bombshell. Vijay had just left for office. I had returned from my morning walk.
‘Is the coffee ready, Vasanta?’
Vasanta - ‘Don’t you know that Kamini had to have complete rest till the baby comes? I will be busy to look after her and Aditi. You will be in charge of the kitchen. Vijay must have told you. Now hurry up, be a good dear and get our breakfast. We are starving’
Raja - ‘But but I do not know anything’.
Vasanta - ‘Why do you think we came here? You were trying to slip off by not wanting to come. I cannot manage every thing myself. You have to pitch in. Vijay helps Kamini in the kitchen. You are behaving like a male chauvinist.’
Raja - ‘I should have guessed that something like this would happen. It is unfair. I do not know anything. If you ask me to operate the washing machine or drive the car that is o.k. But cooking. God help me.’
Raja looked miserable. Vasanta had a twinge of conscience at Raja’s plight. She thought to herself -    ‘his mother has thoroughly spoiled him and he has become lazy.’
Vasanta-    ‘There is no way out .Start today with toast and scrambled eggs.’
Poor Raja had never entered a kitchen except to steal some bajjis or samosas when his wife was not looking. He thought that the kitchen was not a place for a man to be in. Raja’s uncle and mother were good cooks but they did not have the status that chefs have today. So it was a question of prestige and loss of status when he was pitchforked into the kitchen. Adding to the problem was his total ignorance.
So Raja started off with burned toasts, Charred eggs, Milk and coffee with salt, Cake sprinkled with pepper and the fire alarms going off often. Kamini, Vijay and Vasanta put up with it realizing Raja had no clue and that there was no way out. Basic training was given. Only Aditi was furious and convinced that the ugly sister had come all the way from India to poison her. Raja was locked out often.

Wonder of wonders! In a few weeks Raja was literally transformed and purified by the heat and pressure of cooking and was accepted as a passable cook. Normally it should have ended there. Raja’s innate curiosity and his scientific background came into play. He began to try exotic ingredients and noted the reactions of the eaters. He was able to entice his grand daughter with an exotic cheese toast and lock outs became less frequent. The most luscious looking dressed chicken is the one available in America. It is also the most tasteless one in the world. If one is used to Indian spicy food it was inedible. This was the challenge which Raja took up next.
All conventional marinating even to extended periods to the point of 
the start of decomposing did not improve the insipid taste of the American chicken. Raja found a bottle of Andhra Avakai pickle .This pickle needed an iron clad mouth and stomach to survive. Raja argued that if anything in the world can marinate the insipid chicken this was it. No harm trying. Raja liberally doused the chicken in this stuff for six hours and put it inside the oven.
Vijay had invited some Indian friends for dinner. Even the alcoholic fumes did not prevent the aroma from the kitchen. To cut the story short the avakai tandoori chicken was a bit hit. The tasteless chicken was converted into culinary delight. Raja was congratulated by every one on his achievement. What pleased him most was the hugs and kisses on the cheek from the ladies with tears in their eyes. For once Vasanta did not seem to mind .She was told that she had trained her husband very well and this pleased her no end. In the privacy of the bed room Raja had real kisses and hugs from Vasanta. Raja basked in his new found glory.
Some thing nagged him. Some thing was not right. One day he got it. He did not like the adoring look in Vasanta’s face. It spelled disaster for him on his return to India. He quickly developed back pain and spondulitis. He was given relief from heavy cooking. Only when the lady guests came he insisted on making his avakai tandoori as he could not resist the kisses and hugs from ladies.

Continued in Part 2

Comments

[Ambika]

No comment! Judgement reserved until part 2 is read!

[raji]

Interesting!
Waiting for Part II eagerly.

[shakuni]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.
Very witty.