Bar in the Sky

Flying even in the A380 long distance can be a tiresome affair especially if it is a day flight. You cannot watch the video or the movies all the time or even listen to music. Unless you are an investment guy watching your and your clients assets go down, after a time you are at a dead loss. For most sleep is also out of question.

This was the problem faced by me recently. Seeing my wife fast asleep and me looking forlorn a kind  air hostess told me to walk down to the bar at the rear. Reaching the rear I was amazed to see a full fledged bar. The barman was busy serving three ladies dressed in black. They were already inebriated and shouted a warm welcome to me. I was about to turn back when I heard a welcome in Tamil

"ayyare vango "     (welcome oh brahmin)

On the left hand side was a fellow Tamilian in deep argument with an elderly American and he was gesturing me to join them. I did and we started an exchange of views on every thing under the sun. Subbu, the Tamilian, was having gin and tonic.Chris the American was having Glenfidich.I was having Chateau Margeaux. The first lady was having rum on the rocks ,the second vodka on the rocks and the third Napolean brandy on the rocks..

G&T- "I tell you Chris you should you should use a Hydrogen bomb in  Afganistan." 

Glenfiddich- "Yes but the Chinks would retaliate.You remember what happened in Korea"

G&T-"Obama has lost his nerve. He is making up to the Chinks."

Glenfiddich-"Look at your balkanising country.I tell you the world is going to the dogs."

Rum -"Barman top up please."

Barman-"Coming ladies"

 Vodka- (humming)-"I am your darling sunshine,your only sunshine --------"

Brandy-{humming)-"Come on to my house,my house--------"

Chateau-"You are bleeding yourself to death.Swallow your pride, get out of the Middle East and Afghanistan and spend the money in improving yourselves. At this rate you will end up like Russia and give a clear field to the Chinks".

Rum,Vodka and Brandy did a jig round the bar humming old tunes.

G&T-"Obama is introducing Fabian Socialism  and TTK taxation.God help America."

Glenfiddich-" Guys let us not be serious.Obama, may he stew in his juice.What do you do?"

(looking at me)

Chateau-"Nothing now. I used to work as a part time bar man in my student days.I enjoy mixing drinks."

G&T-' Mix me a G&T."

The barman agreed to allow me to take over. I took a cold glass,smeared the inside with a few drops of fresh lemon, put a few cubes of ice,added a good measure of Bombay Sapphire and topped up with English Tonic water and gave it to him.

G&T-( after having a sip)-" Say this guy is damn good."

Glenfiddich-"You cannot do much with a malt can you?"

Chateau-"Try me". Goes to the bar.Gets two bottles of Perrier, one cold, one warm. Pours a double peg of Glenfidduch in a fresh glass after rinsing it.Pours an equal measure of mixed Perrier so that it is neither warm or cold and gives it to Chris.

Glenfiddich-"What have done? diluted my malt". takes a sip."MMMMh the flavour is good and it does not sting my tongue.You are good Ayyar."

R,V&B-"Hey naughty boy. How about us?"

I took really cold glasses from the fridge,  poured the libations and gave it to them. They did a gig  and took a sip and suddenly their voices grew shrill and their hair appeared to stand up.They remind me of the witches in Macbeth.

We men have serious discussion on the merits of various malts and which was the best summer drink.At this point the witches decide to join us .They clapped me on the back and asked me if I was alone .I was saved by the apearance  of my wife who came searching for me.I introduced her and the witches shouted "come here deary".My wife got scared, gave me dirty look and shot into rest room and locked herself. The witches were outside shouting 'Come out."

Even A380 can be hit by turbulance and we ran into one and the bar was closed and we were told to return to our seats.The witches and G&T and Glenfiddich returned to their seats reluctantly. It was a tough job to persuade my wife that the coast was clear and come out and we finally made it.The rest of the journey was uneventful but the look in my wife's face made me avoid the bar and my friends.

With apologies to Will Shakespeare,

Raja Ramakrishnan

26th May 2009

Comments

[Kamini]

What a fun read! I wish I had been on that flight with you. Hopefully soon, we will see some photographs as well! Are you saying that your witches were worse than Shakespeare's??

[rajamannar]

After all this, how will you pass time on planes without bars and witches?

[Raja Ramakrishnan]

I have not seen Will's witches but these were authentic stuff.

one has to come to earth sometimes and wait for the next time

[Raja Ramakrishnan]

ask vasanta about the witches.They scared her.You have to wait fo the picts till the problem is sorted out.

[Ambika]

Pray tell, what is Chateau Margeaux?

Aah, my well-educated husband, peering over my shoulder just informed me, so never mind!

[Raji Muthukrishnan]

I enjoyed reading that!

[Raja Ramakrishnan]

I am surprised that after 15 years of daughter-in lawship you missed it
Appa