The spirit of Mohali

                                                             MOHALIATMA 

 

                                    

 

         The Indian team’s performance in the world cup matches in the early stages was unconvincing. If the batting clicked the bowlers and fielders made up with a poor show. The coach Kirstein was tearing his hair and had decided that after the world cup he will resign and go back. The loss to South Africa at Nagpur did no harm in their but was a severe damper after the collapse of the batting after a blazing start. There was a strong feeling that the jinx of Sachin’s century and loosing matches were connected. In next match at Chennai Sachin obliged by not scoring a century and India duly won aided by a West Indies collapse and Kirstein pep talk. India was in quarter finals against the Aussies. The Indians were by now more confident and they realised they could achieve the impossible. Even the great Don scored a duck in his last match and they hoped that Sachin would emulate him by not scoring a century. Even the greats succumb to nerves .If not at least Satchin would think of the team interest. Aided by Gambhir and resurgent Yuvaraj India won. So on to Mohali to face the Pakis who had been playing well in their matches.

 

     This was the time of the telecom scam and the P.M looked a sorry figure. The PM had formed a committee in PMPO to advise him on measures to refurbish his image. The committee recommended that the PM of Pakistan should be invited to the Mohali semi finals. The PM decided to do better and invited both the President and PM of Pakistan to the Mohali match. When the official announcement was made there was consternation in the Indian team. ‘We are not there to save the doddering, old, senile Sardar and his Italian keeper, was the unanimous view of the team. There was anger at the way the match was used for settling personal scores. It was tough enough having to play the jihadists but this added burden was too much. The captain pulled them together telling them to ignore the dirty politicians. ‘Let us first work out how to fix the pakis  and win world cup with Sachin in the team so that he can retire and we can play without his centuries’ said the Captain. He reminded them of the glory and the money to be gained if they won.

 

   In Islamabad there was a special cell in I.S.I following the pakis performance. Whenever they seemed to slip Kayani made sure that a reminder of what was waiting for them was sent to the team manager. The news that the Indians made it to the semis was not the best of news. Taking on the Aussies or the Tamil Tigers was cheese cake compared to the slimy Indians and their numerous gods. Discussions went on for days and nights and finally Kayani himself stepped in and said ‘let the master blaster make a century. Help him by missing catches. Bowl wide. Do not appeal for L.B.W. Every time the master blaster scored a century the Indians have lost’. There were doubters among the team but it was too dangerous to discuss the matter. The Indian PM invitation irritated the General. He decided that the President was unreliable and sent the P.M.

 

     In the Indian team camp the discussion was not about the match or the strategy but anger and resentment with the wily Sardar P.M who seemed to be interested only in saving his skin. The pilot’s widow came in for caustic comments. The presence of the Pakki PM added a new dimension to the problem. They fell back to the old Chankya trick of using their super secret double mole in the pakki camp. The conversation then took on very animated debate on the politics and corruption in the nation. There was unanimous consensus that this sorry state of affairs cannot be allowed to continue. The P.M was again trying to win the Nobel Prize which eluded his predecessor by playing the game of extending the hand of friendship to an unreliable and dangerous neighbour. The discussion went on, the coach who tried to come in was asked to come later .And then reserve no2 said’ Yarrr. If we can get into the team purely on merit and win the World Cup, we can and must do something too to improve the country and get rid of the corrupt politicians who rule us. Everyone agreed and this new spirit was called ‘ The Soul of Mohali’. This sounded very foreign and was changed to ‘Mohali Atma’ or Mohaliatm’ for short. Simply put it was to use honesty, talent and devotion to problems without any self interest. The captain said ‘Boys. Back to work. Call the coach ‘

 

    The coach was not privy to the mole in the Pakki camp who had informed the team manager and the captain of the Pak decision to allow the master blaster to make a century and use the hoodoo to do in the Indians. So when the coach wanted the opening batsman to have a real blast if they won the toss they went along knowing there was very good chances that what they wanted will happen. Nobody had the heart to tell master blaster do not score a century but get out.  If they lost the toss the situation was more difficult and the bowlers will have to pitch in. But then every was pumped up by the sardar’selfish act and the slimy pakki P.M’s presence. The Indian team decided to present a case of new Indian Malt AMRUT packed in an Alfonso cartoon. The master blaster looked out of sorts, tired due to the tension of being on 99 centuries. The other opener was his usual ebullient self but the captain knew that his batting was like the toss of the coin. So the coach and the captain concentrating on the bowlers giving them pep talks and kind words.

 

    The pakki P.M was received with hugs and he was already in good spirits away from Osama and the general. His military security scanned the various gifts and Alfonso case came in for special scrutiny. The poison taster declared it o.k. and bloody good. The case was sent to the general in Pakistan to prevent the P.M getting sozzled. The general had a sip of Amrut, his face was all smiles before turning red in anger. He sent an SMS to his P.M- ‘The bloody idol worshippers have mastered the art of making super malt. Blast them. I want our players to make mince meat of the Indian team’.  The Indian team is a mixture of talents from all parts of India and is mixture of all faiths unlike the pakki team.  Some of them bear the famous surname Khans and Singhs. And they can be fierce fighters if properly primed and Pakki PM’s presence and injustice of long inaction on telecom scam set them up. The master blaster seemed out of sorts but as planned had a go and aided by the Pakki strategy of allowing him to get a century got into his eighties when in a moment of aberration Afridi caught him. The Indians missed the hoodoo of the blaster’s century and had the added advantage of eighty five runs. The bowlers did the job and they were on to the finals much to the fury of the general who downed his anger in pegs of Amrut.

 

   So on to Mumbai to take on the Sri Lankan Tigers. The tension of playing the Pakkis was not there. Added to that the doodsra bowler was past his prime. The match was won when the master blaster got out cheaply and the youngsters and the captain drove the nail into the Sri Lankan coffin. The presence of the LITE smasher was of no use. When the team celebrated later that night serious discussion on the sorry state of the nation and the means to improve matters took place. The Sardarji was shamed that one of his kind has brought the nation to this sorry state of affairs. All were agreed that merit not birth or connections should matter and every should be given an opportunity to improve himself. A consensus was reached to form a party with world cup stars as the core to  fight the next elections. They would use the money from their earnings to fight the next elections. The cricket bat and ball and the wicket will be their symbol. The party was named MOHALIATMA –shortened TO MOHALIATM (the spirit of Mohali).

 

     The situation was so bad that the social activists and yogis took over the battle to cleanse the corruption. The players bid their time and waited till nothing happened before making a public move. A year before the general election they put their act together got their party and its symbol registered. They began the serious business of having political meeting to explain their manifesto. They made it very simple-  merit is what matters-opportunities for all to come up-reservations to go when people advanced- simple, clean ,small government- - a truly federal set up with no governors in the state. The  slogan of the party  ‘Mohaliatm –the spirit which won the World cup against great odds will clean up and give you good ,clean government. Trust the World Beaters’. The timing was right after the fiasco of AH and yogis and Teflon PM who created so many review committees that the ministers did not have any time for anything else. The BJP and Leftists tied themselves in knots. D.M.K was busy bailing out Kanimozhi. So when the world beaters came up with a party and agenda voters were prepared to try anything. The electioneering was conducted in a very professional manner with each constituency handled by a world cup team member belonging to that region. The parliamentary election results were not a surprise but the margin of victory was beyond the wildest dreams of M party. With the huge majority the m party had the mandate to make any change.

 

     Success can be a double edged weapon and soon senior members of the 1983 team tried to chip in with a claim. M party moved swiftly to make clear that only the 2011 winners will be involved in the government. They would govern for just for five years and in that period clean up the place. M party was sworn amidst great jubilation. The total ministers were the fifteen world cup players all of the same rank except the PM who was the first among equals. A special dressing room to recreate the Mohali dressing room was made and the cabinet held their meetings there. The discussions were private with no secretaries and decisions were noted by one of the ministers by rotation  communicated to the civil servants. Fortune favours the brave and it chipped in when the old doddering president who was angling for a second term died. After the customary period of mourning and eulogy M party stepped in and nominated the master blaster. The master blaster was himself not too keen and had to be pushed by the PM saying that he better be removed from Ferrari temptations. It was a master stroke and a cake walk.

 

    The MA party were making waves all over the world and were closely watched. In the US the NBA and baseball players watched closely to see if the democrats and republican parties can be replaced. In the home of cricket there was great excitement and conservatives labour and liberal democrats shivered and Lords was an abuzz. In China a table tennis Party was formed and promptly jailed. Meanwhile the M P party got India going. The cabinet passes a resolution to get all money get abroad accounted for and taxed. The income tax department was told to act within four weeks and when nothing happened heads rolled and new commissioners were appointed from private sector. They got things moving. The civil service was up in arms but the government was very firm – ‘perform or perish”.  The retirement age of the civil was reduced to fifty five with an effiency bar at 50 years and six day working was reintroduced. Recruitment to civil services was frozen for five years. The civil service training colleges at Mussorie was privatised with no funding from the government. Taxes were reduced but compliance of payment of taxes was strictly enforced

 

    The Major change was the abolition of the state governors which set the stage for a truly federal set up. The Mohali party did not contest the local elections. Within a year the economy boomed and money was spent on education FOR ALL and creation of top class infrastructure. When top posts like CVA and CVC were open to all and post retirement extensions were not given the I.A.S cadre protested and threatened to go on strike. The P.M responded go ahead –it will solve our problems in one stroke. In two years there was a sea of change- the economy booming and overtaking China. All and sundry turned up in Delhi to study the miracle. The Pakki generals and the Chinese communist were alarmed and saw an open challenge to their hegemony. The US saw an opportunity to muscle in.

 

     Then Pakki government accompanied by top generals invited themselves to Delhi to meet the Indian government and get tips from them help to revive their failing nation. Opinion was divided in allowing them. Was this another wooden horse of the Trojan War? For once the cabinet was divided. The dates for the was discussed and the GOI decided to cancel the visit.

 

   I woke up with a nightmare sweating profusely and shouting in my sleep 'the Pakki plane has taken off. The plane is full of nukes to destroy Delhi on landing. Stop it. Stop it.' My wife shook me, dabbed my face with a cold towel. “What is matter dear?’ I went on shouting for some time before realising that  MA party and India taking off was a bad dream and that the Teflon PM ,his controller ,A H and the Yogi were still there and CBI was still taking giant steps to remain where they were.

 

    Raja Ramakrishnan

    29^th june 2011

This story is dedicated to Vish and Roh

 

 

 

Comments

[Kamini]

This is just too good, Appa! I was chuckling throughout! One of your best efforts. I see that the Amrut has made an appearance here.

[flowergirl]

Good one!