Not for the prude and faint hearted. Part 2 of Innocents abroad. Mut and Sat in Manchester.
LOVE IN MANCUNIUM
Mut and Sat caught the Manchurian express to Manchester and arrived at noon. Now Manchester like London has Roman connections. While London was an important Roman port and commercial place, Roman Manchester was an outpost guarding the Chester-York road. What brought Manchester into prominence was the Industrial Revolution. London still had the glamour of an imperial capital even after the World War 2 in spite of bombed out sights all over. London town was not that grimy or the weather so muggy and soot-laden as Manchester where everything was a shade of black. The bombed out city centre made it more miserable.
Industrial revolution had created a city of great wealth and surprisingly of art, culture and ideas unlike other industrial Victorian towns. One of the textile tycoons endowed a college which turned into a red brick university of renown and a great research centre. The city also created a mechanics institute which turned into a top notch centre of technology. Mut and Sat studied here the next few years.
The university made great efforts to welcome students and make them feel at home. They did not have the advantage of Oxbridge but made up for it by their warmth. The first function was a reception by the University to the foreign students co- hosted by the Vice Chancellor and the student’s union. There was the Vice Chancellor in tails with his wife in a banana hat and lady president of the union in fifties version of a miniskirt. Mut and Sat made their way diffidently to meet the VC and lady president and were an immediate sensation especially Mut in his Gold laced turban and Nehru jacket. The VC was impressed and union President could not help giving a smooch on Mut’s cheeks.
The first month was a whirl of parties to which new students were invited. The university had a group for every taste. One of the most persuasive was the ‘The friends in need’ headed by dog collared reverend named Entwhistle –a multi linguist who could speak Tamil, Malay, Singhalese and Mandarin. He was assisted by a bevy of girls. Rev Entwhistle aided by the bevy of lovely assistants made a special effort by inviting students from the colonies for tea and scones. You were taught polite manners and the art of eating scones without dropping bits and smearing butter on your lips and face. The meetings started with a prayer to the lord and ended with a prayer. The reverend led a discussion and the topic was inter racial marriages or comparative religion but no one paid any attention. One of the girls told Mut and Sat that the reverend got on to this after his wife divorced him and married an Indian. At the end of the meeting they dispersed and Mut and Sat enjoyed the heavy necking with the girls at the bus stand.
The end of the long war had broken the social barriers and made the people more free in their social behaviour. This is quite common and accepted these days but to people visiting Britain it was a welcome surprise from the imperial Victorian hauteur of pre-war Britain. To Mut and Sat, brought up in rigid India, this was heaven. They became members of the Student International Society where the continentals had even less inhibitions. After the first month they settled down to their studies in earnest. They were in different parts of the university and met only at night in their room, their digs. One day they received a short letter from Billimoria-“Boys need any refills?”. They looked at each other with shame.
Sat- ‘We are wasting time Mut. We must do something.’
One would have expected that Mut would have lost his virginity first but in life the expected very rarely happens and it was Sat who led the show. Mut found it out when surreptitiously counting Sat’s gift box from Billy. Mut‘s agonised question met with stony silence and he was left to his own devices. ‘I will out do the bugger’ –Mut muttered to himself. Mut got depressed as days went by without any progress. Sat’s box was reducing by one a week. Sat decided to give a hint to Mut.
Sat-‘Mut. You are a real nut. Why don’t you see the signs? The girls are crazy about your Turban. You should let nature take its way. Try one of the Entwistle girls- the quiet one with dark hair and a mournful face. ‘
The topic of discussion at the reverend's next evening tea was Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest and the superiority of certain races and religion. Mut with his Vashnavite background could not stand this nonsense and said so- ‘Rev, if this is the case our religion is the best having lasted this long and thriving in spite of the likes of you’. Entwistle was silenced and shocked and quickly ended the meeting with a prayer. Mut walked out in a huff thinking never again, though I will be missing the lovely eats and the vestal virgins serving them. He walked into Platt fields deep in thought and cooling off and it took some time to realise that someone was hailing him. The mournful girl caught up with him and giving him a hug said-‘I am sorry for what the reverend said. Do not take him seriously. He has become like this since his return from India where his wife left him for an Indian. He thinks all evil stems in this world from miscegenation.’ It was dusk turning to dark and they sat at the foot of Lincoln statue. Suddenly Mut realised this was his opportunity and started kissing Gwendy who returned with equal ardour. Beyond a certain stage Mutt seemed frozen and Gwendy took over. Mut’s turban fell off but Gwendy put it back ‘saying you must have it on. You look like a Maharaja’. Mut tried to mutter, 'but I don’t have it.' Gwen –‘do not worry. I have it ‘and led him through the consummation of his first Billimorian act at the foot of the Lincoln statue.
Mut could not believe that he had done it although with a little help. In the distance they heard the reverend calling her. Gwendy told Mut ‘hide behind the bushes. See you next week’ and ran towards the reverend ‘here I am uncle. Are you upset at the Indian’s rude words?’
This initial initiation was like a rocket launch overcoming gravity and Mut soared into high heavens. At the International Society all the European au pair girls adored the turbaned practitioner of Kama Sutra, with pleasant manners and insatiable desire to please them. During the student’s monthly dances especially when held in Tech buildings with its dark empty top floors, opportunities were plenty.
Sat and Mut now stayed separately and each went his way and met only rarely at month-end parties. But news of Mut’s reputation spread and friends told Sat that he was going overboard and that he had a warning from the university that his aid would stopped if his performance did not improve. Next he had a letter from his father that he was coming in five weeks to see him. He had already booked his boat ticket. There was a note from Mut in Sat’s digs- “Where the hell are you? I am in deep shit. Meet me at 7 at the Union bar on Friday. Do not, I repeat, do not let me down.” After a couple of weak beers Mut was at last coherent enough to explain the problem. Sat was all ears and sympathy. He took charge of a demoralised Mut and told him what to do. First, no girls till his father went back. Second, back to the grind and work to deal with the threat of withdrawal of his aid. Mut being intelligent and with no distraction from girls should be able to get back on an even keel before his father’s visit. Next they decided to go to London to meet Billimoria and Sweta for their advice and to make arrangements to receive Mut’s father-Dikshidar. Homi and Sweta promised all help and said- ‘Do not worry Mut. We will soften him up before he lands up in Manchester. If you have any elderly English friends introduce him to Dikshidar as you cannot spend all your time with him.’
Sat had the bright idea of getting Rev.Entwhistle and Dikshidar together and arrange a seminar on Miscegenation. The reverend was enthusiastic and offered not only to organise it but also to put up Dikshidar. Mut was like a cat on hot tin roof, scared of his father’s visit. His love life was at a standstill and left the girls guessing. He put in an effort and caught up with his studies. His tutor asked him –‘what got into you? Keep a control over your extracurricular activities. ‘
On a cold blustery morning with snow in the air Dikshidar arrived in London. He was swathed head to tail in an assortment of heavy woollens, only his face visible with a vertical Iyengar caste mark on his forehead. ‘Oh my Gaaad. Look at what we have to deal with’ –said Homi. ‘Shush. The poor dear must be frozen’- said Sweta. Within a week they unfroze him. They persuaded him ‘When in Rome do as the Romans Do.’ Rum and orange was accepted as sugary concoction essential for survival in the freezing weather. Sweta was accepted as Randavathu Penchaathi (second wife) –a common custom in Tamil Nadu. On food Dikshidar stuck to veggie food of boiled potatoes and carrots and milk. Billimoria introduced him to the Avesta and origin of holy fire. He was taken round the sights London and the place in the Tower where Ann Boleyn was beheaded fascinated him. He thought it was neat solution to a diffficult problem.
Dikshidar who landed in Manchester was a version of the father that Mut knew and feared. Sweta and Billy had done their job. He had the true pioneering spirit of his ancestor Ramanuja and had rediscovered the spirit of enquiry. So the visit took off without any hiccups. Surprisingly he hit off well with the reverend the first exchange settling the relationship on a friendly tone. Entwhistle–' Dikshidar -you do not go anywhere without your caste mark?' Like a shot came the reply-‘Like you Entwhistle with your dog collar!’
Entwhistle insisted in having Mut’s father as his house guest and soon introduced him to the delights of English Port. Then there was the trip to Lake District and to Wordsworth cottage in Grasmere. Dikshidar was so taken up that he stood before the cottage and recited the poem – ‘I wandered lonely as a cloud--------‘ to the handclaps from a delighted Enwhistle. Back to Manchester and a few days later the seminar on Miscagenation with a large audience of girls and students attracted by the bountiful food and festival atmosphere. The two principal speakers had their long winded presentation. Dikshidar stole the show with his long coat, veshti tucked between his legs, polished black shoes, the gold laced turban and his caste mark on the forehead shining in all its glory. The audience was amused at his stilted sing song English embellished with quotations from Shakespeare, Milton, Keats, Wordsworth and Churchill. He was an ace debater and soon had Entwhistle gasping for words. Living in England, the pretty girls and uninhibited talk and behaviour, the disciple of the people even after the long war and of course the Port did mellow his rigid views. By the time he left he told Mut ‘Do anything within reason, do not get into trouble, and adopt the ‘love them leave them Joe attitude’. In any case anything can be purified by proper homams and poojas. Much to Entwhistle’s annoyance Dikshidar views on Miscegenation changed to qualified acceptance.
Mut made a request to his father to leave his gold laced turban behind as his turban had become very shabby and torn. Dikshidar was so touched that he left his turban and angavastram behind and went home covering his head in a homburg. On returning home Dikshidar gave a series lectures ‘Bearding the British lion in its own den’ and wrote articles on ‘Beating the British in tests’.
Dikshidar’s visit had a chastening effect on Mut and he shifted to controlled extracurricular activities though his popularity went up with the new gold lace turban with a red and green bands. The girls had not had this sort of experience being made love to by a turbaned boy who managed to keep it on without dislodging throughout. Sat who had been the balanced one all these days started wondering whether he was missing out on the fun. Dikshidar’s slow metamorphosis after four weeks stay set him thinking. ‘Was he missing out on the fun and being too studious’ -he thought to himself. He did not have the advantage of gold laced turban which Mut refused even lend him. To have a distinctive appearance he stated growing his hair into a pony tail when the fashion was a crew cut. He adopted a ‘Beatle’ look much before they were known. Sat was a born musician with an in born talent for appreciating and enjoying all types of music. In his spare time he took lessons on western music.
Manchester in those years was the home to a young, vibrant Irish community very busy spreading news about the British atrocities against Irish and Sinn Fein. There was a preponderance of pretty Irish girls who made contact with ex colonials to gain their sympathy. Mut became friendly with an Irish girl with a flaming red hair and green eyes. This changed his life style of jumping from bed to bed. A tough no nonsense girl came into his life and he was bowled over. Dierdre Mac Dhonnchada, from Killlarney, educated at Oxford and a willing recruit to the propaganda wing of I.R.A was to use her charm, wit and education to tell the ex colonials how bad and uncivilised the Brits were. Mut was smitten by the Irish Kaleen and Dierde succumbed to the Indian snake charmer’s wiles. Dierdre soon took charge and made Mut pay more attention to his studies. His philandering became a thing of the past and he became ‘steady’. His spare time was spent in assisting Dierde with her propaganda work. With all his charm and gold laced turban Mut never got beyond kissing and fondling. Dierdre attitude was thus far and no further and strangely enough Mut went along with it and became a single girl friend fellow much to every one’s surprise.
Sat met became friends with a Jamaican girl by name Kimberly Ganesh. She was studying photography and being a talented singer was a part of West Indian music group who played in night clubs. She was a vivacious girl of many interests, fair of complexion and curly hair. They became friends and were constant companions. Sat’s musicality, his ability to sing and compose songs and sing in mixed Tamil, Malayalam and English, together with his skill at drum beats and his newly acquired skill with the guitar got him into the West Indian band. Soon Kimberly and Sat became a star attraction. Friendship turned to love and soon Kimberly made clear that she expected to tie the knot with him in the near future. Sat was introduced to Kimberly’s family- her mother and brother. Clyde Ganesh was a big made burly Jamaican giant who when crossed could turn really nasty. Sat was able to put off Kimberly and gain time till his viva was over.
Mut in the mean time had come to terms with his studies and doing well. All his spare time was spent with Dierdre and Irish propaganda work. Dierdre took him to Eire and showed him round Dublin and especially the post office the scene of the 1916 Easter rising and British action. Back they came to Manchester loaded with propaganda material to be sent to India.
After their initial hiccups both Mut and Sat did well in their viva and were waiting for the graduation day to get their degrees. They were discussing their future plans when unexpected events caught them unawares. As soon as the graduation day was announced Sat and Mut decided to hold a joint celebration after the graduation ceremony. Sat informed Kimberly and Mut try as he did many times could not get hold of Dierdee.
Mut’s and Sat’s fathers were taking active steps to see that their sons returned home safe after graduation without lingering on. They had already lined a few girls for them and wanted to marry them off. Mut’s father was aware of the dangers as he had seen the life for himself. Boys will be boys but thus far and no further was his dictum. They bombarded their sons with weekly letters but Mut and Sat pretended they did not receive the awkward ones. This was easy as the letters came my sea mail and took three weeks and very often were lost in transit. They were very happy and planned to continue In Manchester for some more time and there was the added attraction of Dierdre and Kimberly. They knew what awaited them back home.
Plans go awry often without prior notice. Sometimes you are confronted with near disasters. Surprisingly this happened to Sat and Mut and almost at the same time. Clyde Ganesh turned up late one evening, just a week before the graduation. He had a bottle of Jamaican Rum and singing
‘You did it, did it
Boyo you did it’
He gave a big slap on Sat's shoulder’s which sent him reeling. ‘What have been doing to my little Sis? She is having morning sickness. You slimy bastard. Kim is in seventh heaven. Going back to roots. Here have a swig of rum from our home town to celebrate.’ Sat just collapsed. He looked shocked and pale and muttered ‘But but we were careful’.
Clyde-‘what is the matter with you. You look like a ghost instead of beaming with joy. Or are you trying to get out of it? If you are thinking of washing your hands off forget it. I will pulverise and drop you into the Manchester Shipping Canal. The celebration is tomorrow evening at my place with a few friends. See you’.
He walked out singing ‘Rum for two,
Two for rum
Sis will raise a family’.
For once in his life Sat was scared to death. He packed a small suitcase, caught a bus to Piccadilly station and got on the night train to London.
At about the same time Mut had a visitor from a Manchester police officer. After the initial courtesies, the officer closely questioned Mut on his relationship with Deirdre. The police had closely watching the Irish in Manchester suspected of association with IRA and Dierdee was suspected of anti war propaganda towards the end of the war. The police officer after listening to Mut said-‘Mr.Muthusway .You have not told me the full story. We know because we have been keeping an eye on both of you. Please hand over all the propaganda pamphlets. You should not misuse the hospitality of this country which has given you excellent education at subsided cost. Do not try to contact your friend. She has gone off to Eire’ The officer collected the bundle of propaganda papers and said ‘Good bye Sir’ and walked out. Mut was thoroughly rattled and spent a sleepless night. Next morning he packed his bags and took the train to London.
Sat and Mut made their way to P and O offices in Leaden Hall Street to book a passage to India. They were surprised to meet there and talked about the mess they had landed themselves. They agreed that a quick retreat back to India was the safest option. The problem was that no berths were available for three months. The air travel was too expensive. They were sitting despondently wondering what to do. In walked Billimoria to the boy’s delight. They were all over him to explain their dangerous predicament. Homi laughed at their problem. He told Sat that Kimberly and her brother were trying to pull a fast one on him but that discretion was better part of valour. He told Mut that Deidre was a well known activist of the I.R.A and that he had a narrow escape. He was now working for Mackinnon’s of Bombay who were the agents for P.O. He arranged berths for them. ‘Boys. You have the lowest deck. No first class for you this time’.
So the chastened boys made their way back to Bombay took the Bombay Mail to Madras where they were received by their families with nadaswarm music, caparisoned elephant, and garlands galore. Did they miss Mancunium? Not for the first few months with memories Clyde and Deidre still fresh.
Raja Ramakrishnan
5th September 2011
That would be very exciting. A whole new adventure.
Posted by: gray hair | January 17, 2012 at 07:40 AM
Perhaps this story is to be continued...?
Posted by: shyam | February 09, 2012 at 08:32 AM