STEAMY NIGHTS IN TAMIL NADU

 

 

 

 

 

                               MY THANKS FOR HELP AND INFORMATION

 

 

Before I start my sincere thanks to my sister in law Lalitha Ramakrishnan, my niece Raji Muthukrishnan and my grand nephew Ramki for vital information on this subject. My immediate family refused to help me fearing I would go overboard. My two older stories -Innocents Abroad and Love In Mancunium- did not exactly meet with their approval and I was treated as an  Indian version of Galahad Threepwood. I do hope that Lalitha, Raji and Ramky like this blog and I dedicate it to them.

 

        STEAMY NIGHTS IN TAMIL NADU

 

 

    
    
  It was a cool afternoon in Santa Barbara and Nandini and Roger decided to walk to the Fertility Clinic for their appointment .Both were tensed ,did not hold hands, smile or look at each other.This was not an easy decision and it had taken months of talks and arguments before they agreed to take this step.They were married three years ago after a whirlwind romance.Nandini was into drama and music and Roger was financial economist with wide wide range of interests. They were very fond of children but decided to put off parenthood for a few years when they would be able to enjoy it without any distractions.
    Nandini was a Tambrahm from Swamimalai in Tamilnadu. She came from an ancient orthodox family. She lost her parents when very young and was brought up by her grandmother Parvathy, a remarkable woman with an ancient body but a mind fresh , quick and enquiring mind. She became a widow at a young age but did not allow her grief to ruin her life but went back to school and college and learnt to run the family business. As she was coming to grip with her life and had brought up her son alone and had seen him settle in a happy life with his wife and daughter fate struck again .Her son and daughter were killed in a car accident and Parvathy had to bring up the child Nandini. This was a labour of love and she put all her heart into it. Nandini studied and stayed on in America and married Roger with the full approval of her grandmom. Parvathy attended the marriage ,leaving Swamimalai for the first time in her life. She was a hit with their Californian friends  with her worldly wisdom and humour.She returned to Swamimalai after a few weeks.
   The clinic doctors declared that both were normal and sent them on to a psychiatric.After the first sessions Nadini stormed out and would have nothing to do with the Shrink. Roger’s pleading did not help.Then Nadini rang up up her granny.
    Nadini shouting in a shrill and agitated voice-’Patty. He is crazy.I told him that no way will I see a Shrink. What nonsense! I am a normal person.’
    Parvathy-’ Calm down Nandu.Of course you are not crazy. What is the problem? Not conceiving?’
   Silence for a few minutes and then
   Nadini in a sepulcheral omnious voice-’ So that slimey snake has already talked you and poisoned your mind?’
    Parvathy- ‘ Nonsense girl. Nobody has spoken to me. This I swear by all that I hold sacred. And when has your ‘sweetie pie’  become a slimey snake?.’
   Sounds of loud wailing and crying reached Parvathu over the phone.
   Pravathy- ‘Calm down Nadu kutty. All is not lost I will see that you will be beaming this time this time next year. I am also interested to see that our genes do not end with you’.
   Nadini-’ You will do your magic again Patty as you used to do when I was a young girl?’
   Parvathy-’ Leave it all to me’
    Nandini-’No Shrinks. Mind you no Shrinks.’   
    Parvathy-’Hold on Nandu. There is a call waiting. Some body is desperately to reach me.’
    Nandini-’ it must me that slimey serpent’
   Parvathy-’ Cool down.’
   Parvathy disconnects and immediately the phone purrs.
   Roger- ‘ Granny. I have been trying  to reach you for a long time.. What the fucking hell are you doing?’
    Parvathy- ‘Now now Rangy.What language. You have doing the F thing without results’
Roger-’For heaven’s sake granny. This is no joking matter. And what did you call me?’
   Parvathy- ‘Rangy for Ranganathan-our family deity. Rangy for your yankee tongue ‘
.Roger- ‘For heaven’s sake be serious.This a matter of life and death.’
   Parvathy-’Of course I am serious and I am taking corrective action. The first thing is to give you my family deity’s name to propitiate him and seek his blessing. You need not tell me all the details of your ordeal at clinic. I can guess what happened and I know that that nothing is wrong medically with either of you.’
Roger was non pulssed and perplexed for a  moment.He was at a dead end with Nandini. There was no way that she would go to see a psychiatrist.  He knew the old lady  had their interest at heart and was very clever. So he decided to go along.
    Roger-’ O.K. Rangy it is. I will call you PATTY from now on.  Did I get it right. ‘
    Patty-’ You may also call me Paru . I will work this out and tell you what to do.You do not need to believe in it but follow it. In brief you will have to get remarried in our house in Swamimalai. First you go to Nadini and touch her feet and say no shrinks. I will get back to Nandini and fix up the detaIls.’
A few hours later the phones was buzzing again. Parvathy had a smile on her face.
    Nandini-’ Patti.What did you do to my ‘sweety pie’. He touched my feet and said sorry over and over again.No Shrinks he promised me.He is even changing his name to Rangy. Patti I will go to the end of the world for my sweetie.Does not matter if we can’t have children.We will adopt.’
    Patti- ‘I did not do anything. He cried his heart out and told he me would go to the ends of the world for you.’
   Nadini- ‘He did that? How sweet of my cuddly baby.’
   Patt-’ I am so glad that every thing is back to normal. Now for the next step forward. You will have to get remarried in our house at Swamimalai. A proper ceremony according to our rites ending with Shanti Moohoortam. This is vital for conceiving. I will arrange for all this and let you know the date so that you can arrive in good time. I will proceed  one condition that you do not sleep with Rangy till the Shanti Moohoortam night. It is essential that you are pure. If you cannot control your self sleep in separate rooms.’
  Nadini- ‘Patti you make me blush.Don’t you have any shame talking like this? We are both exhausted with all the attempts, Patti. So no problem just now. But we can’t hold on for long.So please hurry.’

   So Parvarthy set to work on all the arrangements and fixed up a date for the marriage ceremony giving enough time for Nadini and Rangy to make their arrangements. She also told them to take few days break in Singapore to avoid jet lag and be fresh.Rangy was not given any details except that he would be married in a traditional tambrahm ceremony. Nadini ,who in her heart of hearts missed the marriage ceremony first time was very enthusiastic. Roger was ambivalent and curious but had his own doubts on Parvathy’s assurance of hundred percent success.
    
     On a hot blistering  afternoon with the temperature hovering above forty five celsius Nandini and Rangy landed at Anna international Airport, Chennai. They had been to Chennai a quite a few times but never in the middle of summer. As they  came of the terminal the humid heat took their breath away. The reception party spotted them and gave them a warm welcome. Their luggages were separated and they put in two different Innovas and they took off for Swamimalai. The airconditioning in the car was very effective and Rangy cooled down ,had a glass of cold elaneer before realising that Nadini was not with him and that her car had sped away.



 Rangy -’Hey where is Nadini?’
 Venu -’I am Venu , Nandu’s cobrother.Do not worry.She is transported separatly as you are not supposed to be together till the marriage is over. Aunty’s orders. Sit back and relax .We have a five hour journey ahead of us.’
  Rangy’s Iphone rang.
   Parvathy-’Hi Rangy. Did you have a good journey. Do not worry,Nandini is safe.Conventions have to be followed. Now switch off your Iphone. They are very expensive to use. Venu will hand over a local mobile to you. Venu will explain in detail the marriage ceremony. ‘  

    The air conditionng in the car was very effective and soon Rangy had cooled down and started asking Venu about the marriage ceremony details.  Venu ran through the condensed version worked for Nandini and him. As soon as they reached the village and neared the house a reception committee of family and friends would meet and escort them with nadaswaram music. They would be taken to the house prepared for him. Pretty girls would receive him with singing and garlands. He could rest in his room and at night will be taken to the marriage house for a sumptuous feast. The hall will be decorated with flowers and a classical carnatic music concert will be on. Normally there would have been ‘Nischithambulam’ or engaging ceremony. But in his case this was omitted as they were already engaged.Rangy smiled and wondered if Venu knew the full story. Rangy will see Nadini decked up in traditional  dress but he will be not allowed to sit together till tomorrow.

  There was a commotion and in walked Parvathy accompanied by a helper carrying a suitcase and big plate with garlands and eatables.Venu left them to talk by themselves.

    Parvathy-’ Welcome home Rangy. I want to greet you personally and tell you about all the marriage arrangements tomorrow. I have arranged a simple family function with very few guests. I have spread the word round that you both want to married again according to hindu customs. I have brought the dress you should wear and Venu will help you. We have an informal early dinner in our house tonight. As Venu would have told you Nandin will be there.You can gaze to your hearts content but will have to wait tomorrow to be near and exchange sweet nothings.’
   Rangy-’Thank you for all you are doing Patti.You should not bothered to come.Venu could have explained everthing to me. I am overwhelmed’.
   Parvathy-’Anything for a great grandchild, Pera.’
   Rangy-’I will do my best Patti.’
   Parvathy-’There you go again. Sit back and relax.’
   Rangy-’ O.K  Patti.What about some low down on the ceremony and what I am supposed to do?’
   Patti-’Just listen  and nod or mumble if you want. To prevent a cacephony of priests shouting,I have arranged for only three. Two will recite the mantras and the third one will explain the significance to you. Early in  morning you will be received as you arrive. You will be converted to a twice born brahmin by a simple short ceremony and taught the ‘gayatri mantram’. Then you pretend to go away on kasi yatrai and are persuvaded  to come  back,swing on the oonjal with  some off tune music by women. You begin murmering sweet nothing to Nadu. Then ritual poojas ,kanyadhanam, and then muhoortham where  the tying of the knot takes place and finally sapta pati (seven steps ) round the fire.At each round you are supposed to touch the brid’s legs and lead her round the fire. Caress her legs each time.Lots of marriages break up if you don’t! Both of you will have the foster parents at the ceremony. ‘   

    Rangy-’ Woh. I got it Patti. What next?
    Patti-’ Then lunch. You sit with Nadu ,feed each other if you want. The food is very tasty and rich especially  the payasam.Go slow on it as you have the night ahead’.
    Rangy-’ You will make a sailor blush Patti.’
    Patti- ‘ In the afternoon the newly married couple play games teased by the youngsters. In your case Nandini wants a carrom board match with you you.She will thrash you as she was a champion. Every one will be delighted’.
    Rangy-’ When are you coming to the nuptials at night?.’
    Pattti-’ Impatient as all you Americans are. You want to run before you know how to walk. You become billionaires before you know what to do with the money and land up with Shrinks’.
    Rangy-’Of course I am impatient. I have to be primed about the function and do not want to look ignorant.’
Patti-’ O.k. Here we go.    Usually the nuptials or shanti muhoortam took place a few years after marriage when the girls were married very young. It takes place the in the grooms house. A homam and chanting of mantras in front of a fire takes place to wish for a happy conception. We consider sex both for enjoyment and the sacred ,divine act of procreation- unlike you people in the west. We then push you two into the bridal chamber ,which is set up with flowers and food and close the door. You will hear a lot of snide remarks from the women.Finally you are left alone to do the job and you do not need any advise from an old woman like me.’

Patti-’ The room has been aircodiotioned and a generator provided as a back up. So you can do the job in cool comfort. I advise you not to take any drink with you . Now we have to set off for dinner’.
    Rangy -’ Patti you make  me blush. Were you like this when you you had your Shanti Muhoortam?.’

  
    So they went to dinner in the marriage hall where Rangy heaved a sigh of relief on seeing Nadini. She was dressed to kill in the traditional dress and took his breath away. A nice dinner but both of them were too busy exchange chit chats to really enjoy it.

Back to his residence with Venu, he had a good night’s sleep dreaming of tomorrow’s night Shanti Mhoortham. Nadini and he had just been pushed into bridal chamber and he was double locking the door when he was woken by Venu. After a bath, a soman veshti was tied by Venu, a drink of hot Kumbakonam degree filter coffee, Venu and he made their way to the marriage hall. Rangy walked gingerly fearing that his veshti will untie.  They were received with honours and nadaswaram music in full blast. The priests took over and qucikly  made him a twice born. Then the farce of the Kasi yatrai and he loved the part where they pleaded for him to come back as they had a nice girl. He loved the oonjal sitting close to Nadini,who looked stunning in her Canjeevaram nine yard saree and hair decked with jasmine flowers ,smelling divine.Then on to the muhoortam ,tying of the thali and finally the seven steps. He made sure that he pressed and caressed Nandini,s foot as he had been advised. The look of divine pleasure on Nandini’s face ,each time he caressed , was a revelation. How did he miss this trick after  all these of marriage- he asked himself silently. Then lunch and sweet nothings to Nandini as how much he loved her and how much he was enjoying the function and could not wait for the finalle. He was made a mince meat in the carroms game to the delight of all the women. Then back to his residence for a bit of rest and getting prepared for Santi Muhhortham . It had been a very hot humid day but the excitement and cooler fans placed all over the hall made it bearable. . The evening was stifling and swealtering but with the excitement of Shanti muhoortam and nuptial in a few hours made Rangy impervious .
   The house where the Shanti muhoortam was held was a small old family house belonging to the Parvathy .It was over a century old with with thick brick walls and heavy small windows and doors made of dark teak wood. The furniture was also low and made of rose wood. It was one storied and dark most of the time but modern light fittings and modern convinences had been added. So it was  a quaint lovely house and used for only special occasions. There was one room used only for nuptials functions in the family.This room was done up elegantly with a flower docorated oonjal , victotian high cot to protect the couple from snakes and scorpians in the old days.There were tanjore painting of Krishna and Ravi verma paintings of Kerala girls.One of Parvathy’s ancestors put up an old copy of an Italian painiting copy of Cupid aiming his bow at the girls’ right in the middle of the roof, and for lighting there were bohemian glass lamp shades fitted with modern energy efficient bulbs so that the place was not heated up. Parvathy had added a movable split air conditioner. In the corner was table ,chairs . A spread of food was kept for the couple to energise themseves during the night.

    There was a small gathering of close relatives and friends for the function. The shanti muhurtam mantras and rituals were shortened by the priests in defence to Parvathy’s wishes. With Nadini at his side looking stunning in red a saree and decked with flowers, and looking happy and smiling away Rangy took it  in his stride. One priest explained to him in english the importance of high thoughts  on a night like this. It was essential for the conception of a healthy baby. It was no mere act of physical pleasure. Venu gave more earthy comments. In the background were ladies and gents of all ages adding spicy comments and advice to the couple. The priests finally called it a day to the relief of everyone. Every thing  was cleared and a dinner set for the couple. They sat side by side and to the delight of the ladies fed each other ,mixing food and feeding mouthfuls with a look of adoration and love in each others eyes. They finished quickly to bawdy comments from the ladies- ‘They are in a hurry to do do the job.’After eating beetle leaves they were led to the bridal chamber with lewd comments from ladies.The door was thrown open with a cold blast  of cold air streaming out. There was a rush and every one  was pushing Nandini and Rangy in. Rangy took control, lifted Nandini in his arms and carefully slipped in through the door.There was an uproar of delighted approval -’ Siva is taking Parvathy for the cosmic dance’.Venu shouting at the top of his voice -’Hit the bulls eye Rangy’.

    As soon as they were inside Nandini hissed -’ Set me down and close the bloody door before the crazy women try to come in.’ Rangy set her on the oonjal and ran to the door.Try as he did he could not find the latch and said so to Nadini.
Nadini-’ You ignorant yankee. See that big wooden slide in the middle of the door.Slide it into slot. And even an elephant cannot open the door. And hurry back you fool’.
    Rangy closed the door, which shut off the shouting from outside, hurried back and sat next to Nadini on the swing and took her in his arms saying- ‘At last. What a randy crowd of women you have here. One would think they are all sex starved.’
    Nandini-’ That is the whole purpose of the function - to make you feel randy when you enter the bridal chamber. Mummmmm I can’t wait. Did you see the roof painting with Cupid shooting arrow?’

    The cool air of the Ac revived them after sweltering heat outside. The heavy scent of the jasmine and other flowers started having its effect on Rangy and soon nature took its course amidst cooing and moans of pleasure. From time immemorial Tamil Nadu nuptials were held on hot humid sweltering nights with a high rate of success. As if to prove the point the air conditioner conked out as did the power supply. Soon they were sweating and perspiring in the heat.
 
Rangy got up shouting ‘What the bloody hell’.Nandini pulled him back The look saying ‘When in Rome do as the Romans do. This is now a proper Tambrahm Nuptials. Do your cosmic dance Siva.’
 
   Towards early morning the skies opened out and there was a downpour and it cooled down for them to have satiated sleep. The next few days they spent in Swamimalai going round villages and temples. They watched the making of chola bronzes by modern artisans. Nandini and Rangy looked very relaxed and happy. Evenings they spent in the verandah of the old family house with Patti talking about how the life in the village was changing.

    Rangy-’ Patti. You have very eclectic views. How come you belive in all these rituals?’
    Parvathy-’ The look on your faces answers your question. Tell me Nandu am I not right? It worked did it not?’
   Nadini blushing-’ You can be crude Patti.’
   Rangy-’ You mean all this mumbo jumbo workes?’
   Parvathy-’ There you go off trying to tie down every thing like a mathematical theory. You see this was an old social custom which was in vogue when girls were married off very young.The nuptials  was put off till  the girl came of age. The bridegroom was like a   stud bull rearing to go and chances of success was very high with the couple having nothing else in mind unlike you youngsters in the west who had plenty of sex for pleasure and think of having children later on when conception becomes more difficult. The nuptials was all about pleasure without thinking about children.’
Rangy-’ I got the point. But why have the nuptials in the period of the year when it is steamy and hot’.
Patti -’ It is always hot in tamil nadu. I do not know but probably we tambrahm women are more fertile during this time.’

   Nadini-’ Patti is right. This is all a mean to an end. It put me in the right frame of mind. And so did you . You took on a new avatar. Had we gone to the Shrink we would been mental wrecks.
  Rangy-’ You indian women look so demure and meek but  ‘
  Nadini-’ You better get acquainted with ADIPARASKHTI.’

 They went back to California with stern admonitions from Patti to Nandini to keep off alcohol in any form. The inevitable happened and Nandini started having morning sickness. In due course a girl was born to every one’s delight. And Rangy sat on his patio sipping a chardonnay wondering if it was all a dream.  

       

 

Raja Ramakrishnan
26-09-12

    Postscript.
Tambrahms have changed over the years. Exposure to new ideas ,immigration to other parts of the world have changed their customs though they are the same at the core. Honeymoons are replacing the old Shanti Mohhortham function. But as Rangy and Nandini found out it has its place.The tamil name for nuptials is Therakshi Kalyanam but I have used the alternate name Shanti Mohhortam. Most tambrahms these days use the english name nuptials. 

    

    

Comments

[Kamini]

Good fun, Appa. All 's well that ends well
!

[Raji]

Those old pattis knew a thing or two, did they not!
Nice story, I enjoyed reading it, especially as the story moves so briskly, and has a happy ending.
And thanks for mentioning me.

[shyam]

Cracked me up when I read "swing on the oonjal with some off tune music by women" :D Never was there a more truthful description, Mr R! I don't think I've ever heard any oonjal paattu which were sung in tune :)

[Ness Pesikaka]

Thanks Raja,

Very trenchant observation.

With minor variations, most Indian weddings are the same and in fact the traditional Parsi wedding has inculcated many of the Hindu customs, along with the Zoroastrian ones.

Keep it up.

Cheers,

Ness.

[ramakrishnan]

Thanks Ness. The process of Sanskritisation as M.N.Srinivas called it in action.I did not realise that Parsee marriages had elements of hindu customs.
Raja

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Thanks Allan .Glad you enjoyed it. Nothing on my mind when I wrote it. Tey my other blogs on my type pad.
Ramakrishnan

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