Buttonhole Lotus
When Damodar Joshi received intimation that the Prime Minister had decided to appointed him as Minister for culture he was in the seventh heaven. Even more delighted were his wife Mandatai and daughter Bina. They looked forward to seeing the back of him for a few years and lead their normal lives without his daily barbs on their dress and being back home before eight p.m.. Joshi finally gave up his attempts at persuading them to join him in Delhi. At least he could concentrate on his work of reestablishing Hindu culture which had almost been destroyed by Invaders and infidels.
As soon as the swearing in and other formalities were over, Joshi made a beeline to his office. He was formally welcomed by his staff with bouquets and garlands. The secretary introduced him to the staff. The minister in his reply thanked them and looked forward to their help in reviving Indian Culture. He had only one request. In future he did not want any flower arrangement with flowers of foreign origin in his office. He would like the use of only Indian flowers especially the national flower, the Lotus. He mentioned the Thais and Orchids.
It was not long before Joshi had an opportunity to step in when a few churches were vandalised. While regretting the incident he said the fault lay with the church's policy of conversion of hindus. Let them try converting muslims and see what happens. The hindus are civilised people. The press made capital of the christian and muslim communities’ response. The Pakistan press had headlines ‘India calls Muslims uncivilised’. The party right wingers were delighted that after the last Congress pampering of minorities their party was standing firm. The PM was silent for a long time before coming up with a wishy washy statement on the constitutional rights.
Joshi formed a think tank in his ministry to come out with ideas to revive our ancient culture to its original pristine purity. Various ideas came up and on the top the most polluting one was the eating of beef. The secretary was told to contact national food research laboratories to produce proof that ancient Bharat was a vegetarian society. The director of the institute wrote back stating that meat and beef eating was practised by some communities and that at no time was Bharat was totally vegetarian. He sent some research papers in support. Joshi when told exploded -’ Does not the fool realise that meat eaters were asuras and rakshasas against whom Rama fought? The Director is Congress appointee of that Italian woman.We must have him removed. In the meantime give our support to the movement against beef eating and cow slaughter behind doors.’
Secretary-’ Sir our exports will suffer’.
Joshi-’ Which Ministry are you working for Mister. Watch your step or I will have you transferred to Nagaland. And watch your step.No more visits to Mac Donalds when you’re working for me..
Morning briefing at the Ministry of Culture.
Joshi-’I am disappointed by the progress you have made in implementing my ideas to revive our culture.Secretary Sab what have you say?.’
Secretary - ‘We have sent a proposal in your name to the Law Ministry to change the Constitution make animal slaughter and meat eating illegal and punishable by Five years RI.’
Minister-’Excellent.The PM and the party will be pleased .Keep on pressing them and keep me informed’.
Secretary-’The Food Minister has objected to our contacting the Director Of Food research institute directly and his replying to us..He has been asked to go on leave with immediate effect.’
Joshi-’Good.That fellow deserves it. Ignore the Food Minister objection. If he comes back I will remind him about his visits to Kentucky Fried chicken on the sly and inform the party president.That salla banjoot of a bihari thinks he can play with me,’
Meanwhile in Mumbai Joshi’s wife and daughter were living it up.Mandatai got in involved in social life work helping minority communities. Bina indulged in designer dresses,skimpy skirts and visits to night clubs. Mandatai led an agitation against beef ban, Bina took part in the Valentine Day celebrations. They were very careful in changing their names and keeping a their relationship with Joshi a secret. They had changed their residence after Joshi left for Delhi.
A couple of more gory rape incidents shook the capital. The P.M kept his usual silence and left his ministers to deal with the situation. Everyone made their own comment condemning the incident. The AAP blamed the home ministry and the delhi police for inaction.Joshi stepped in with a statement advising women to dress modestly and stay at home at night to avoid getting raped.This set the cat among the pigeons and the women’s activist group blasted the Minister for male chauvinist remarks and took out a procession and burned Joshi’s effigy in front of his office.The President of the opposition party suddenly woke from her lethargy and employed the party’s publicity agency to check on the minister's family and their activity. This agency was in a bad way after the last election-their campaign ending in disaster and no new client coming in. To revive their image they put in a special effort and unearthed the videos and news of the Joshi family. This was widely published to in papers and news to smear the Minister’s and Party’s image. Unfortunately for the ruling party the agency forgot the basic rule of publicity that timing is important.It came at the same time as the publication of the news about a sensational murder . News about Joshi went unnoticed and he breathed a sigh of relief. The opposition leader was furious at the lost oppertunity to smear the ruling party.
Joshi decided that discretion was the better part of valor and went into a silent mood. One day in the parliament he saw a painting of old leaders. He looked at it went close and stated at it. Suddenly a smile lit his face. instead of going back to his office he went to his apartment ,locked his bed rrom ,took out his foreign mobile and rang up his daughter Bina and had a long chat with her and told her try it out in a seclded corner of our farm. He ended-’ Please ask your mother to cooperate.This a a big thing.’
Bina- ‘Done Bapu and we will wear maharastrian sarees when we come to Delhi’.
The minstry was surprised to see change in Joshi who had become very affable and friendely. The Secretary- ‘Sir there is a question on the unsatisfactory working of Kalashetra in Chennai. It refers to the change of the director and resignation of the chairman of the board. What action are we acting? It is from our party member.’
Joshi- ‘ It must be from the HRD minister Patel who wants to take it over,’
Secretary-’ Shall we give an wishy washy reply and say that we are going to get more involved in the running.’
Joshi- ‘ Very good’.
In the parliament the question was asked and replied. A party member suggested that institutes on the model of IITs and IIMs be formed for music, dance and arts and that Kalashetra should be taken over and changed.
All the M.Ps from Tamil Nadu raised vociferous objection to take over of a venerable local institution by the cental government.
Joshi replied sauvely- ‘The model will not work for cultre and arts. The government after due delibration will consider setting up Kalsahetras in different parts of India giving promnance to the cultre of that region instead of uniform IIMs and IITs.
The matter did not end there. Egged on by the media the two minsters went on a war of words.The party president ,Desai, was worried and he was unable to patch up the war of words. Patel thought he had the support of PM. Joshi thought that he had the support of the party president for the help given in the state elections.
The PM on a dirve to get foreign inesrment and out most of the time came back home to the domestic party sqables threating the state elctions due shortly. The Cultre minister and the HRD minister were called to meet the P.M and Desai at the party headquaters in the middle of night to avoid the media men. The PM and Desai sat on big chairs on one side of the table. The minsters sat on the other side on backless chairs. The PM ,with his glasses gleaming stated at each minster in turn for a long time without uttering a word. They started squirming.
Desai- ‘ You are a disgrace quarelling like children with the elections round the corner. Patel you have started IITs in variuos cities as per party manisfesto but with no no staff. Joshi, you are trying to impose rules which you cannot make your wije and daughter follow.’
Joshi looks shamed..
Joshi- ‘ Sorry. But I have developed something which will win the election. I will hand it over to the P.M’.
He unbutoned his sherwani and took out a bubble wrap of beautiful mini lotus flowers.the security who were watching the silent video of the meeting in next room ran into the rooms with guns and were about crush the flowers when the P.M spoke the first words.-’Leave him alone and give me the flowers.’
He had a beautific smile on face, carressed the flowers and put one in his button hole and gave the others to Desai.
P.M-’ There you are. You can conquer Bharat with these. I can go on my next trip with an easy mind.’
Desai-’ I dont get it. How did you do it?’
Joshi-’ Nehru had the red rose on his sherwani. Look at his painting in the Parliament’.
P.M walked away with a smile and followed by a beaming Joshi and downcast Patel leaving Desai alone.
Desai muttterd to himself-’I still don’t get it.
Raja Ramakrishnan
7th october 2015
Chennai
Unexpected twist in tge end!! A fun read
Posted by: Kamini | October 08, 2015 at 11:22 PM
Raja,
The powers have further decreed that henceforth Bharat wasis will only drink Som ras. No more Single Malt; even if you sport a bunch of lotuses.
Ness.
Posted by: Ness Pesikaka | October 10, 2015 at 03:19 AM
Thrilling and excellent!
The idea of a beef ban was in large part due Gandhi bringing in "spirituality" into politics which gave the nut jobs oxygen. In August 1947 Rajendra Prasad got over 150,000 written letters demanding a beef ban.
Posted by: VIJAY | October 12, 2015 at 05:29 AM