A Raja's Life and Stories: Tamil Brahmin Ladies Asssociation

A cool early morning and the early morning walkers were out in full force in the colony round. As usual the the ladies outnumbered the men. In designer outfits, the ladies dressed in fashionable Indian walking ware, walked in a horizontal line blocking the road making all the other walkers step aside. They were a noisy gang and you could hear at the end of the road, discussing all topics and especially their domestic life and their husbands who would not lift a finger to help them. The usual noisy discussions were disturbed one morning by by a very agitated shrill discussion. The upshot of it was that Rita’s husbands was lauding Trump’s behaviour and saying that nature’s law of the superiority of men should prevail.

The de facto leader of the group Usha was a slim and well trimmed lady with flowing hair who walked fast with long steps like a gazelle. She had a sharp carrying voice. She was married but separated from her husband amicably . She suggested to her friends that this was a serious matter and they should all meet together to discuss. So they met at lunch a week later and decided to form an association. The main areas they would concentrate were:

a) To protect and preserve for posterity the unique Tamil brahmin ladies culture.
b) To restore the position of Tamil Nadu brahmin ladies to their original status as goddesses whom men worshipped and respected.
c) To extend their activities to the Tamil Nadu ladies of New York to make sure that they do not succumb to predators like Trump.

The only condition they laid was that the Tamil Nadu brahmin ladies should wear nine yard sarees in Tambrahm fashion ( Iyer or Iyengar) for the meeting and be strict vegetarians.

The stage was set now for meetings to get matters moving and the ladies assembled in one of the members house in the forenoon when the house was clear of the husband and children. They came withe their nine yard sarees , changed into them . The first time however it took forever to change dresses and by the time they were ready it was very late to have any discussions. So they decided to get professional help from a helper to tie the sarees for them. This set the stage for the for the first business meeting . Much to the dismay and consternation of the Tump admirer’s wife they discussed the action to be taken. Rita did her best to deflect the discussion but found that short of her losing her membership there was little she could do. TBLA finally decided that initially they would try a soft approach to bring him round. First he would not served hot degree coffee in the morning by Rita. Second Rita would not sleep with him till he came round. Rita did not mind the first but was quite unhappy with the second action. The ladies consoled Rita that this would work.

For the next few days TBLA ladies were quiet on their morning walks. Rita looked morose. The ladies were getting doubts whether they had over acted. There was no sign of Rita for a few days and the the other ladies were debating whether to call on her. Then suddenly out of the blue Rita joined them looking chirpy. They asked if she was sick and had any problems. Rita laughed and said that everything was under control. The other ladies looked at each other hesitating to probe further.

‘ We reached a compromise’ -Rita

Oh no thought the others. The stupid woman has let TBLA down. “ We told you to stand firm and what have you done?’-Usha

‘ I agreed to sleep with him if he made the morning coffee every morning’- replied a blushing Rita.

After a moment of shocked surprise the TBLA ladies started to sing and dance on the road much to the amusement of the other walkers.

There was no looking back for TBLA after this. They got going in full swing. Yoga and meditation classes designed and conducted by women, classes for Tambrahm ladies on female power and training for protecting themselves against marauding males were all initiated.

One early morning the loud cries of a woman disturbed the serene walking crowd. Her chain had been snatched by a man on a scooter and she had a bad bruise around her neck. The thief had scooted away. The men commented it was stupid to wear jewellery and attract thieves. The TBLA ladies were annoyed and said if you men at least made an attempt to chase the thief there would be some effect. What is jewellery meant for ?

TBLA had become well established and requests for membership were pouring in. A very strict selection procedure was adopted and the total number of members were frozen to make it a compact and effective body. TBLA felt that the time had come to establish a correspondent in New York which had a very large number of Tambrahm ladies. The inputs from there could help TBLA and would also see that Tambrahm culture was nurtured and kept alive there in its pristine form. Usha was going there for a short visit was authorized to select a suitable person. She went around and met a lot people and zeroed in on a musical group called Navadisha. This group consisted solely of married Tambrahm women who spent their spare time in as a group singing south indian music and dance shows to propagate Tambrahm culture to New Yorkers and they had had much success. The leader of the group was Hamsa, a very talented singer herself. Usha spent a lot of time with her. One early morning jogging with her one chap tried to mug them. Hamsa’s response was instantaneous. She gave a vicious kick to the muggers crotch and he laid low groaning in pain.

‘That will put him out of action for a few months’‘- Hamsa.

Usha invited Hamsa to be the New York correspondent. Usha accepted and came to Chennai a few weeks later to a rousing welcome from TBLA.

After the mandatory early morning walk , the ladies met for lunch at a club. Hamsa had been warned to either come in a nine yard saree draped in Tambrahm style or bring one which they would help her wear. Hanma came with a small handbag and had TBLA ladies worried. She went into the changing room and came out in a few minutes while the others were still working on theirs. TBLA ladies were surprised to learn about a clip on nine yard saree dress which can be worn in jiffy. Hamsa said she designed it herself and had it stitched by Ayyalu of Chennai.

Hamsa was a great hit. They regularly practiced the crotch kick using a dummy to perfect the technique. She also taught them to change their diet to more salads to be less hip heavy and have better balance while kicking. She encouraged them to take up group singing of Carnatic music. They had found In New York that this was a source of great enjoyment and relaxation. In New York they had successfully spread Tambrahm culture by public singing. Hamsa went back and kept in touch with updates and TBLA flourished.

There is an old saying that that achievement always breeds seeds of decay . This is as true of organizations as it is of empires, big or small. For a few years TBLA thrived. They soon found out to their cost that it was a mistake to restrict membership. First two of the ladies became grandmothers and their babysitting duties and cute grandchildren weaned them away. One lady's daughter married a Hasidic

Jew. The other ladies son brought home a Vietnamese as his wife. The shock was too much and she stopped attending TBLA meeting . The gazelle lady Usha went into shock when her daughter eloped with a Muslim boy. So that was the end of TBLA and morning walkers in the area wondered what has happened to the loud ladies.

The spirit of TBLA, however, lives on in the Navadisha group in New York. They had learnt the secret of surviving through constant renewal .

Raja Ramakrishnan

Chennai

2nd November 2016